‘I have no idea exactly what I’ll be doing’

Every week I am sent a reminder about ordering my graduation announcements and every week I do the same thing – delete it.

I don’t want to announce that I’m graduating because I still have time, and I still don’t want to believe it.

How could four years have already gone by? How could I already be making decisions about jobs rather than class schedules?

It seems like only yesterday I was being dropped off outside of Kohl Hall with all my trendy Target room décor, and now I don’t even know what city I’ll be living in.

When I was a freshman, graduation seemed so far away and now, it’s right around the corner.

The past four years my planner has been packed full of class times, student organization meetings, events and work and now looking forward, it’s blank.

For the first time in my life, I have no idea exactly what I’ll be doing in the next few months and years.

I say exactly because I do have a few job options, which has made this graduation aspect not as terrifying. However, now I have options to weigh and decisions to make.

No longer do my decisions include what class time do I prefer to go to, 9:30 a.m. or 10:30 a.m., rather what job is going to give me the best experience for my future or offer me the best pay.

That is why I delete the emails every week. Academically and capability-wise, I know I am ready to graduate and make a positive difference in a company, but it is still hard to fathom my time as an undergraduate falcon has literally and figuratively flown by and I’m now getting ready to make my first big steps into the real world.

On May 4th at 3 p.m. I will be sitting in the Stroh Center next to my best friends who I had almost every class with, did every group project with and always hung out with – the same friends I met at orientation four years ago.

Until this day, at this time and with these people, I don’t want to announce I’m graduating. I want to take the next month and a half as slow as possible and savor every moment until I actually walk across the stage. Only then, will I acknowledge I’m graduated because only then, my undergraduate time is up and I am forced to believe and accept it.

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