My thesis in my essay, thus far is, “This article should stay in our textbook because it is a good bad-example showing how: Hekker does not have any thesis to let the reader know what is going on. Secondly she gives no thought about why others may think the way they do (in other words a counterargument), and lastly her sarcasm creates a bitterness that makes her reader feel quite uncomfortable.”

Being as long and drawn out as my thesis is, I feel as if I could shorten it up a bit to make it more understandable. Also I could even make it a few sentences instead of just one long beast of a sentence. Sentences this long are hard to comprehend in one thought because there is too much information. Personally I find myself doing this a lot where I feel the need to compile my thesis into one sentence. I am not quite sure if my thoughts are strong enough to talk in depth about either.