Isha's blog

Three months gone by in a whiff ! Missing home, missing friends and family, the familiar surroundings , the early morning activity in the house, everyone getting ready for work and the lazy evenings with aromatic smell of dinner preparation .

During the first couple of weeks when I wondered if the excitement of this new life, new place, distant bright future was worth the sacrifice of staying away from things I loved . As I gradually settled  into a regular college life , this feeling of despair gradually evolved into a realization wherein I have started to appreciate everything I had back where I belonged.

Filling the  gap in the two societies  to accept another type of  culture into my daily life.  Adjusting  myself in a new environment, making new friends, accepting different opinions and values, and seizing every opportunity was not easy. Living far from home, even for a short period of time, can be really tough at the beginning. We have to remember that  though all these changes are difficult, but  are necessary to go through to build what I dreamed for- to carve out a bright future out of the excellent education that I am getting .

Now , after these three months have  gone by I realize the major hurdle that I  am facing right from the first day onwards and still trying to beat, is  time management, my Achilles heel. This has totally defeated me, I seem to be running around in circles, on my feet most of the time, running errands and yet I have to strive, to hand in my assignments in time, do my week end cooking and I am constantly lagging behind my chores. Time management is the skill that I have yet to accomplish. It is such a difficult thing for me to manage, possibly because I come from I close knit family where  I would do the house chores for fun, most of the outside responsibilities were shared  by the elders of the family. The only total and absolute responsibility I had was ,my school and studies. Throughout my semester this is one problem I am desperately trying to deal with. I know I shall be a more relaxed and happier when I can do the things IN TIME…..

It is said , looking at the past everyone is wiser……Reminiscing about my past, brings good memories of childhood and sneaking along with them are also  the disappointments of the ‘difficult’ teenage life , when things never seem to happen as quickly , as efficiently as we want them or the way we want them to. I can recount list of things that did not go “My Way” .  Now when I give them a thought it is difficult to contemplate that there was a time that when my thoughts were so myopic that I missed out the larger canvas of life.

Growing up in a family of Doctors, can be very inspiring but at the same time it has its own disadvantages ; missing out on family vacations ;or when they are late to my school programs .Getting back from a movie halfway was quite common to attend an emergency at the clinic .

So many times I would crib, cry and throw a tantrum. But again, admission of a mistake, even if only privately to myself, makes learning possible by moving the focus away from blame , towards understanding.  I understand now that it was the commitment that my parents had, that the sense of responsibility towards our duties that they have inculcated in me is reaping rewards ..Now. I wish I could have been more appreciated of all the efforts that they made and also put up with my constant demands..patiently.

Making it to college ,  was an achievement ! Freedom, of living  on my own terms . After all I am grown up!!. Strange, how situations  are just perspectives, depending on which view point the observation is made from. What to me was “grown Up” to my family was teenage tantrums. I felt hanging out with friends, to be allowed to spend a day at friends and allowed my own space, is most natural..I was an adult…On the contrary, my parents thought it was the time I should be more responsible, be focused on making a career for myself. That the hard work of these couple of years would go a long way in my life , this was the opening line of all my mornings. This advice runs counter to the cultural assumptions we have about mistakes and failure,. We’re taught in school, in our families, or at work to feel guilty about failure and to do whatever we can to avoid mistakes. Yet we all make our set of mistakes and learn from them, gradually over the years as wisdom sets in, the insight into the statements are finally understood.

But now, there is another feeling making its way gradually into my consciousness. That all that did not go my way had the hand of someone much superior than all of us .