Reworked Paragraph (both the original and revised)
Wednesday September 02nd 2009, 7:25 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Original:

Growing up with my grandmother by my side has influenced my life in more ways than I could ever put into words.  So many of the qualities that I possess and the values that I pride myself on are a direct result from the life that my grandmother chose to live. There will never be a Christmas Eve that I will not spend honoring my grandma Noffsinger.  Nor will I ever listen to “Silent Night” or the Serenity Prayer in the same way that I did preceding December 24th, 2006.  As a more mature and accomplished young woman, I will never again go a day without acknowledging my angelic grandmother whose generosity and high morals will forever impact my outlook on life.

Revised:

Despite the three hundred miles that separated my grandma and I, our bond was truly unbreakable.  Growing up with a mentor, role model, and friend that I could also call my grandma has influenced my life in more ways than I could ever put into words.  A large amount of the qualities that I currently possess and values that I pride myself on are a direct result of the life that my grandmother so humbly chose to live.   Losing my grandmother to nothing more than old age on such a joyous and highly celebrated day was undeniably a challenge that I believe God purposely wanted me to overcome.  However, as a result, I will never let another Christmas Eve come and go without  honoring my grandma Noffsinger.  Nor will I ever sing to “Silent Night” or read aloud the Serenity Prayer in the same way that I did preceding December 24, 2006.  As a more matured and accomplished young woman, I will never again go a day without acknowledging my angelic grandmother whose generosity and high morals will forever impact my outlook on life.




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