Jilian’s English 207 Blog Another amazing bgsu blog

To me, revision  means making something better. It means taking something, looking at it closely, and thoroughly considering how to make it better. It must be done with the intention of not only finding flaws or possible shortcomings but rather with the mentality that those only mar the surface of the thing and thus must be revised. Revision is necessary to create something effective.

I think that revision must be completed by someone other than the original creator. There are always certain biases that one has: that a sentence must contain that particular word, that the cadence of that sentence would be altered if something added or removed something from it. The original creator is usually impervious to finding its work’s own flaws. Because of this, revision must be done by someone objective; by objective, I mean, of course, that the person did not create the original work.

I believe that revision is a necessary process, most especially when writing. While I don’t follow the usual “rough draft” practices, I am not opposed to someone else going through my paper and giving me feedback. Revision is something heavily emphasized in the classroom, especially since it adds a social aspect to learning that is so important to adolescents.

I actually enjoyed this last session of peer reviewing. The feedback I received really helped me. I was unsure of whether or not I was doing the right thing for the rhetorical analysis but based on the comments I received, I realized that I was doing it correctly. The things he suggested I add to my analysis were things I hadn’t considered and so I really enjoyed reading his comments. I am definitely going to add what he suggested to my analysis, especially since I knew I wanted to add something to the parts he suggested but I didn’t know exactly what I could add. So I really did appreciate the help I received during our last peer review. 

A few things I wanted to add to my rhetorical analysis: I wanted more specific examples of what Lindsey says to Patty in my PSA, I want to add a fact about the Ad Council in the introduction to help add credibility to the original creator of my PSA, and I want to add more about the text at the end of the PSA to more effectively show how it works in conveying the message of the PSA.

Since I finished my rough draft, and I usually only write one draft because I don’t believe in rough drafts, I don’t recall any struggles when writing my rhetorical analysis. I originally wondered whether or not I would be able think of enough things to suffice the 3-5 page mark, but once I began writing it, I realized it wouldn’t be an issue.

One question I still have is how to cite the PSA in my rhetorical analysis. I know how to do the works cited but when I sat down to write my paper, I couldn’t recall how to do it exactly and I couldn’t find the PowerPoint on the blog or in our course shell on Blackboard. So that is one question I had.

Another concern of mine is that my rhetorical analysis might seem a bit like a review. I don’t think I did this but I’m not completely familiar with a rhetorical analysis, having never written one before (or if I have, I’ve forgotten). So that is a concern I have with my rhetorical analysis.

For grading a rhetorical analysis, I think multiple things should be taken into consideration. First, I think that the basics of writing ought to constitute at least a part of the grade: spelling, mechanics, usage, proper grammar, etc. At this point in our college careers, we shouldn’t have any errors in that.

Second, I think that the list of what ought to be in a rhetorical analysis should be considered as well. By that I mean that the original work is named, an original author is given credit, the criteria for evaluating the original text is in the introductory paragraph, the following paragraphs contain specific evidence from the original text, etc.

Third, I think that the person’s ability to effectively write the rhetorical analysis ought to be considered as well. Here I mean that one ought to question whether or not the person wrote an effective essay. Did it make sense? Did it follow a logical order of an essay? Was this person able to make a point and support it well?

Using these three cornerstones with supporting criteria, I think this is what ought to constitute our grade for the rhetorical analysis.

I am interesting in analyzing this PSA about cyberbullying. This is especially important in today’s technological society in which bullying no longer occurs in the classroom or school setting but rather online. The simplicity of the PSA and the text at the end help emphasize the message.

In both rhetorical analyses, the authors of the analysis focused on the language used and how it was utilized to make a specific point. In some instances, the authors focused on one particular word, such as George Bush’s use of the word “we” and Kevin Powell’s use of the word “war.” It almost seemed as though the authors took apart the works by others and analyzed it, bit by bit, ignoring the less important details and focusing on what really made the works spark. In both analyses, the authors went in order of the original work and build a sequential analysis based on that. In both analyses, it was not focused on making a critique of the original works; that is, the authors did not make it a point to say whether or not the original works were good or bad. Instead, the authors focused on what techniques were used to make the work effective and the subsequent effect the techniques had.

In any work, the introduction is very important. In an unsurprising way, it introduces the topic at hand. It can begin with a very general statement and then hone down to the specifics with the inverted triangle method taught to many beginning writers. In a rhetorical analysis, an introduction should include the title and author of the original work, what type of work it was (i.e. essay, article, book, video, song, speech, etc.), and the specific techniques the original author used and on which the author of the analysis wants to focus.

Considering that my Spring Break wasn’t much of a break, I believe I can fully attest to the importance of breaks. I had to take the Praxis this past Saturday, the 14th, at 7:30 AM. I would have appreciated it much more had the Praxis been the first Saturday of break but no, of course not, it was the last Saturday of break. I spent the entire break worrying about the test and the heavy weight it holds over my future. Those unfamiliar with the Praxis only need to know that it is the teacher content exam that, if I do not pass, I cannot teach. It cost me $150 to sign up for it and it took away my Spring Break. Is that worth it? No.

I did, however, manage to have some fun. I got a tattoo on Thursday, my first one, and that was very exciting. It added some variation to the mundane that is my life. All in all, the Praxis was not so bad, either. I finished it 45 minutes early, although I cannot decide whether this is a good sign. I spent some time hanging out with my best friend, watching seasons 1, 2, and 3 of The Office. Quality show. I spent some of the break in my apartment and some back home in Toledo. It was good to see my dog again; I cannot necessarily say the same of my family.

Either way, I think the people who administer the Praxis should think long and hard about when they are going to have the tests. I would also like to wonder why my professors decided that the few weeks after Spring Break were perfect to have a multitude of take-home exams, 25-page projects, and a whole lot of other things due. It isn’t going to be a good couple of weeks. After Spring Break, I sincerely need a vacation. But at least I can enjoy looking at my pretty tattoo. Thank goodness for silver linings.

Being in the College of Education and Human Development, I know a great deal about portfolios. Knowing what we know about assessments, future teachers and professors know that portfolios can be an effective way of assessing a student based on his or her past performance and comparing it with his or her present performance. I did not prefer the portfolio in ENG 112; I did not feel as though it could accurately capture my writing and my skills. Within the College of Education, however, I think it’s interesting to see my education knowledge and philosophy changing throughout the years during which I am enrolled.

The college participates in ePortfolio, an online portfolio that houses our documents and key assessments while we go through the college. I believe this is preparing us for the portfolios we must assemble throughout methods and student teaching. These types of portfolios, ones which we take with us to job interviews, are very helpful. They house most of our work, samples of our students’ work, our resumes, our background checks, recommendation letters, and a variety of other documents that prove what an effective teacher we will be. Thus, I have a great degree of familiarity with portfolios. I think they can be very effective assessment tools, when used properly.

In learning more about literacy in this course, I’m having a hard time not relating something to literacy. I’ve started to realize that everything is tied together and the common thread can, more often than not, be literacy. Our public service announcement (PSA) is about future teachers of America and the necessity of reviewing everything they are about to post online. Otherwise, teacher professionalism and credibility can be compromised. 

This requires all sorts of literacy. It requires technological literacy; future teachers have access to a wide variety of technology and while most of it can support learning, other types can negatively interfere with it. It also requires professional literacy. Teacher professionalism is of the utmost importance these days with more emphasis on accountable, competent, effective teachers in the modern classroom. It also requires visual literacy. Much of our PSA is visual; there is little text to read until the very end, and even in that case, the final message is only meant to reinforce our more powerful visual story. 

Future teachers must know what is expected of them professionally and personally. They must understand not only what we are saying with our images and words but what is behind our message. Our jobs could be put into jeopardy and ultimately, this will impact the students. The students ought to be a teacher’s central focus, and this is why the scene in which the two students lose respect for their teacher is meant to be so impacting.

Thus far, I’m very happy with my group work. Previously, when I was in a group, the workload was unbalanced. But with my group, we are all focused and willing to work together. I’m happy with the effort everyone has put in and it really seems as though we work as a group well. Our PSA is already filmed and we don’t know if we’ll even need to edit. We had fun filming it and yet we still got it done. When everyone was pleased with the final product, we agreed that we were done filming. Everyone participated in the filming in some way and the only thing left to accomplish is the audience analysis. 

What has surprised me the most is that despite the cheap camera, the PSA seems like a real PSA. If we had the equipment and the time to make it look professional, I think that our PSA could really be an official PSA. I think that they would even show it on PBS. After seeing our almost-final product, I’m happy with the message we agreed to use. I think that it is a good message for most young professionals but it is especially important for future teachers. Seeing the PSA in film made me realize that I am happy with our message and it was the right one for us to choose.