By Sarah Bailey

 

 

My parents have always been there for me. Dance recitals, auditions, award ceremonies. Every little moment, whether happy, sad, funny or dull, I spent with the best parents someone could have ever given me. And that’s just what my birth mother did.

My mom says God chose me for her and my dad to take care of. It was the way our family was meant to form.

“We just wanted a child, prayed, and left it in God’s hands,” she says.

The author, Sarah Bailey, and her parents Chriss and Gary at Myrtle Beach in June 2011. Photo taken by Rae Bauer.

When I ask, my mom tells me it was hard for my birth mom to give me up for adoption. She explains that my birth mom wanted me to have a happy life she didn’t feel she could provide then. When my mom and I talk about it, she says that it was the most unselfish gift anyone could have ever given; the gift of a daughter.

I was adopted through Catholic social services when I was around six months old. I believe it was the nurturing of my mother Chriss and my father Gary, that I have been given countless opportunities in life.

I believe that a relationship between children and their parents has nothing to do with if they are blood-related, and everything to do with their bond.

I don’t recall a specific moment when they told me I was adopted. It’s something I’ve always known, something that was openly discussed within our family. My older sister is adopted from a different birth mom. Sit down with us for one moment and you would instantly see our connection as sisters. Our voices even sound the same on the phone.

When people find out I’m adopted, they look at me differently. They act as if it’s a sensitive topic that I would be offended they brought up. I quickly stop them.

I explain that being adopted is part of who I am, and that it doesn’t make me uncomfortable. It’s not politics and it’s not the abortion debate, and I am perfectly OK with them asking me questions.

The author Sarah Bailey, her parents, and her sister, Sabrina, gather for a family photo outside their home in 2008. Photo taken by a family member.

 
In reality, there are many people who are adopted each year. Approximately 136,000 children were adopted annually in the United States in 2007 and 2008, according to federal data.
 

I’ve come to learn that it is a rare relationship where someone feels like they can open up their hearts to their parents without holding back, which is exactly what I have found. I realize that it takes both the love of the parents and the acceptance and response of that love back from the child. I think that now I am capable of giving that love back as a young adult. And that is what I hope to do.

As I’ve gotten older, I realize it is inevitable for people to not wonder about whether I want or have met my birth mom. I tell them that at this point in my life, I have everything that I need.