Final Defense: 12/7

In preparation for the final, I sent in my centerpiece print to the MCAP and finally had my frame arrive a week before the defense. I was really glad that not only everything was done on time, but I was also able to learn how to assemble a frame for the first time! The night before the defense, I found myself alone in 1104 around 6 pm. I took that time to listen to some music while I pieced together my non-framed images and set up my display. Once it was finally on the wall, I had to stand back and admire it. After 15 weeks of stressing out and nearly melting my eyes by staring at my computer screen, my works were finally presentation ready and they looked pretty good! I think i’ll be able to carry that accomplishment with me for a while.

I almost forgot to mention that I was also able to take the time to revise my artist statement :

“This group of works explore mental health in black communities and how they are impacted through the facets of religion, the current political atmosphere, and through intergenerational trauma. As someone who struggles with mental health issues, these works are not only a means to bring awareness but also as a way to cope with the issues around and within me.

With each image, I represent the adult, the child and the elder. The adult represents the use of the church as a means of healing – as opposed to seeking professional help with mental illnesses. The child is made up of the triggers of living in a world charged with open racial tension in conjunction with coping with their mental illness. The elder is layered on the repetition of history and holds the weight of having to carry those issues within her identity as if it’s ingrained within her DNA. With these pieces, I hope to illustrate a very vocal letter of social and mental health awareness.”

The changes are pretty slight, but I preferred the wording and flow of this one compared to the last one.

On the day of the defense, I arrived pretty early, so I had the chance to look over my statement and otherwise prepare myself. Unfortunately, there was a bit of a delay so my nervousness increased slightly with every passing minute past my assigned time. When I finally did get to present, I felt as though things went fairly well. If I was able to get through the midterm defense, and three other presentations, I knew I could do this one too. As far as critiques went, I received some that I had been thinking about myself. These were finding a better resolution for the stained glass image behind the preacher in his piece and aging up the character in the DNA image further. Of course I was told to go bigger in the frame and print, but between this class, professional practices, digital imaging and film photography,  was out $500 and the 14 x 17 was all I could afford. If i get in to the BFA show I will definitely have to beg around for frame and print money. All in all  the suggestions were super helpful and I’m hoping I’ll be able to attempt to implement a change or two before the final on Tuesday.

 

Day 44: 11/26

Another class, another critique! I had been working diligently on touching up some minor details for my works, but I felt like suggestions from my classmates and my instructors would do some good for improving the quality of my work. While I showed my work to the class and read my artist statement, I was actually impressed with the overall quality of the work. I could honestly say that it was among the highest quality work I had been able to achieve since I’ve been in school.

Some of the most useful critiques I had received were a few color adjustments, the prospects of making some the images move though imposing video footage in place of photographs and adding more images to my third piece with the woman surrounded my DNA stands. While I would have enjoyed the prospect of making my piece a little more vivid with video footage, I didn’t feel that I had the time nor the skill necessary to pull a feat like that off with the time that I had left. Despite that, I hope that i’ll have the opportunity to attempt something like that someday. All in all the critique went well, but I still had my work cut out for me. All that’s left now is to charge towards getting ready for the final defense.

Day 33: 11/15

This class meeting was a bit of a tough one. We were beginning to draft the artist statements to go along with our works, but none of us seemed to get it from the packet we were given. I never really assigned meaning to my works, so this was especially difficult for me. For someone who created to create, I couldn’t even begin to make something that was profound enough to qualify as an artist statement. through a lot of trial and error and discussion with my classmates to get things reviewed, i had come up with the following for my initial artist statement:

“These works explore mental health in black communities and how they are impacted through the facets of religion, the current political atmosphere, and through intergenerational trauma. As someone who struggles with mental health issues, these works are not only a means to bring awareness but also as a way to cope with the issues around and within me.

With each image, I represent the adult , the child and the elder. The adult represents the use of the church as a means of healing – as opposed to seeking professional help with mental illnesses. The child is made up of the triggers of living in a world charged with open racial tension in conjunction with mental illness. The elder is layered on the repetition of history and holds the weight of having to carry those issues within her identity as if it’s ingrained within her DNA. These works are a very vocal letter of awareness.”

Of course I’ll have to sleep on it and it will be subject to change, but for what it’s worth, I believe it is an okay starting point.

Day 20 & 21: 11/ 5 + 11/7

On the 5th, I spent most of my time experimenting with ideas for one of my backgrounds. Trying to find a way to take elements from my left and right pieces proved to be a lot more difficult than I had initially expected. Using pill shapes and the swirling patterns of DNA seemed like an impossible task, but through a bit if trial and error, I was able to create a simple pattern. I decided to utilize the DNA shape, but instead of using dots, I decided to switch them into green paxil pills. To carry over from the pastor piece, I decide to incorporate the prozac pill motif into the centers of the paxil strands, creating an image reminiscent of African inspired cloth. With the time that I put in, I felt relieved that I was able to finally come up with something. Despite that, when I put the image against the others. I felt like something was off about them all together.

This brings me to today’s group critique. Luckily with the help of my group I was able to figure out what was off about my work. It simply felt really busy. The colors were  all at the same intensity, causing them all to blur into each other and be pretty distracting. Since I had my layers up, I was able to work through some of the suggestions I was given  such as adjusting the opacity of my background layers. Just with that small adjustment, I felt like my eyes were able to relax a bit more. I feel like that was definitely a great suggestion for my work. I believe another useful suggestion was adding a sort of halo to my center image. I noticed over time that it was a lot harder to differentiate between the background and the character’s hair. I think the  halo suggestion may really help bring out the line work for the hair much more than it is now. Hopefully with the long weekend ahead I can put a little more work time in with these new suggestions.

 

Day 19: 10/31

Since we had small meetings planned with our instructors, I was hoping I could get some advise on how to go about refining my images and their backgrounds. I was initially worried about how a somewhat mixed media work like mine would be received, especially in its later stages, but it turns out I didn’t have to worry TOO much.  I was generally surprised that the reception was so positive, and that it seemed like my work had been paying off. I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I’ve been proud of something I made in ages. I think I’ll have to make adjustments to the preacher piece, possibly adding a photographic element into the pills in some way. I had been experimenting with stained glass designs, but it’s all a matter of finding one that’s effective and can work as an overlay on the pill shapes. That and I have to refine the pill bottle more.It was a bit difficult for me to attempt to render on properly, nut with a little bit more of a push , I could push it forward to be more accurate. Maybe adding an identifiable label to make it looks more like a prescription. For the image of the girl with the images in her hair, I was really unsure how to unify its background with the other two, so I was recommended to experiment with some of the visual elements from the other pieces to incorporate into the first one. It’ll be tricky to merge christian themes/pills with DNA, but with a little time, I think I may be able to come up with something.

Day 18: 10/29

I can honestly say that I was able to get quite a bit done during this class. While my image of the girl with the images in her hair still has a plain black background and the preacher image still has only pills against a black background added.

I made significant progress on the image featuring the DNA strands. Not only was I able to finally age woman up, I was able to incorporate some images into the DNA strands. Aging my character up was a new experience for me since I do not typically draw older people, so for a first attempt, I think it turned out quite well. For the strands, I wanted to keep my idea of the positive markers on the green side and the negative markers on the red side, but I also wanted to incorporate that although time has passed not much has changed. For example, I used and image from the March on Selma in 1965 and how the issues brought to attention there are being  mirrored through the Black Lives Matter marches of the last four years. In addition to that, I wanted to mirror how slavery in the early days of our country are being mirrored by the abuse of a loophole in the 13th amendment. I feel like including these details really added to the idea of featuring an older character, as she has either lived through these events or  carried the weight of them within her like strands of DNA.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to refine the details of the other images within the week.

 

Day 17: 10/24

During this class, I was able to make some time to experiment with some potential background ideas. I left the first image alone for  now to put in more time on the more intensive second and third images.

For the image featuring the preacher, I was finally able to incorporate some biblical text within his robe. instead of the standard verses I had during the last critique, I decided to go for an entire page of biblical text and made it a texture for his clothing. I have to say, it definitely makes his robe more attention grabbing than I had believed it would. Hopefully I can balance it out with the use of the pattern of zoloft pills in the background. The question now is whether to leave them blank or put small scripture text on them against a black background.

For the image featuring the woman with the DNA strands, I have not yet been able to age her up, but I placed the first potential image onto the green DNA. For both stands, I want them to contain the positive and negative social impacts of being black in America. While the green strand will contain mirroring images of the past and present marches for equality, I would like to use the red side to mirror negative social aspects such as slavery of the past and mass incarceration of today. So far I was able to incorporate the March on Selma on the green DNA, but the stands seem to be obscuring it. I may have to either blur the lines or lower their opacity, but it’s definitely a step in the right direction.

Day 16: 10/22

For this class session, we conducted another round of critiques for our progress on our projects. By this point, I have my line work, base colors , shading and highlights done. The only thing that had been really stumping me with the project was trying to impose more photos on my second and third image as well as attempting to create effective backgrounds. Luckily, I was able to ask my classmates about potential solutions to the problem.

For the first image of the girl, I was suggested to do a black background with a faded white stripe around the eye level. I think for simplicity’s sake, it would definitely worth trying and experimenting with. For the second image of the pastor, I was advised to impose the bible verse scripture names/numbers on either his robes and/or a series of photographs of pills in the background. That along with the referral of reincorporating the halo that I had removed from behind the pastor. Hopefully with some help from a classmate, I can learn how to incorporate those  features effectively. Finally for the third image, I was recommended to add my images in between the spaces of the DNA and to incorporate a glow around the character on a dark background. I thought this was honestly my favorite piece of advice that I’d received during the critique. I believe that last piece of advice for that piece was to also age the character up to convey the feeling of the passage of generations through the three images. I thought that was such a cool idea. I hope that I can make it work. Other that that, I’m right on track for where I need to be by this point in the semester.

Days 14 & 15 : 10/15 & 10/17

Over the last several days, I spent time mulling over what decisions to make in regards to my pieces. In the end, I was able to make a few of them.

For the first image,I was not only able to add more definition to the character’s skin, but I was also able to implement the suggestion of placing the images in the hair of the character. Honestly, it was quite the improvement. I feel like the two pieces of the image are no longer trying to out-do the other. Instead, they seem to be able to guide the eye downward from the photographic elements to the illustrative element of the image. The background, however is still giving me lot of trouble. I’m still unsure if I want to go for something flat or go for something that carries a pattern.

For the second image, I was able to define the skin and clothing of the pastor more. Beyond that, the implementation of the bible verses is giving me a hard time. I feel like trying to implement them in the robes is proving quite difficult, so I was debating on if I should incorporate them into the background in a way that looked less like a poster. Like the previous work, the background stumps me.

for the third work, I was able to define the character and her clothing more, but I also had a thought about what to do for the DNA strands. Those were very important elements to me, so I didn’t want to part with them, so while taking Dena’s feedback in mind, I wanted incorporate something positive within that design element. So while one strand will have the negatives associated with the history of my race, the other will incorporate the positive attributes associated with my race. Once again, beyond that design element, the background eludes me. Hopefully I can get some useful feedback in regards to my dilemma during the critique on Monday.

Midterm Defense : 10/12

Surprisingly, I didn’t feel afraid of a critique for once. Even though I would be entering the lion’s den and having them evaluate my work.  I felt very sure of not only my project, but of myself as well. By this point, my three works had their linework, flat color and a mock-up of the backgrounds completed, so I felt as prepared as I could possibly be by this point.

During the review, I received a lot of pretty helpful feedback. I know for certain that one that helped me the most was the feedback for my backgrounds. While I was making them, I really did feel like they distracted me a bit from the images I had drawn. I think that Kim’s suggestion of placing the images within her hair would work wonders for balancing the first image properly. For the second image, the decisions may be a little trickier. To keep the consistency among the images, I would either have to replace the second image entirely, or keep it, but place the scriptures within his robes. To be honest, I feel more inclined to go for the robe imagery. I feel like it could work well with the themes of the first image. Now the third image is going to be the hardest to make a decision for. I could either place the issues I wanted to place on the DNA strands within her clothing, or I could go  forth with my original idea. I’m simply torn since it feels as though I have to choose between going for the idea I envisioned and risk it being misunderstood (sorta like my entire existence) or play it safe and go with the suggestion Dena recommended to decrease the chances of it being misunderstood. Hopefully I’ll have it decided by the next post.

Day 12: 10/8

As eager as I was for some more in class work time, we had to go through a dry run of our presentations for our upcoming defense on the 12th. From the last critique, my only real progress was nailing down a sketch for my third piece. I wanted it to focus on the internal strife that bearing not only my skin color but  also the history that comes with it makes me feel and how it has come to shape not only my sense of identity, but also my state of mental well-being. I wanted to display this  with two intersecting strands of DNA, one for being African American and one for the traumas associated with that identity. Its something that I’ll have to carry with me for the rest of my life, so I would like to portray it as such.

As for the critique, I went through a simple PowerPoint explaining  my motivation/inspirations, my plan for the images and the displays, and I went through the 2 images with completed line art and the third image as an in progress sketch. I was met with some useful feedback, though it was (somehow) difficult for some members of the audience to understand the point and the style I decided to go for. Hopefully with more time to put into the work, It will start to become more cohesive.  I felt that the most constructive piece of advice came from Dylan, who suggested tying my triptych together with a common type of imagery. He suggested using a combination of photo editing with my digital works to impose real life imagery such as tweets from Donald Trump within my first piece, a variety of medication within the second and I was thinking of imposing a Pan-African flag or a black lives matter logo within the third piece. I’ll be sure to work hard in getting these ideas off the ground so I can create the pieces that I wanted to create.

Day 11: 10/3

During this class sessions we began to explore our options in regards to the equipment needed for our gallery works. To be honest, I felt as though I would not need any of the items we discussed that day. I designed mine to be so low-tech that the only materials I would need outside of my tablet for drawing would possibly be framing material. Despite that, It was pretty intriguing to be able to see all of the options we had available to us. I can’t wait to see the works of my friends that will be utilizing the digital equipment and how they choose to display their work with it. I think the one thing that interested me the most was being able to see a 3D printer in person. The possibilities are endless for what a student could  do with that sort of technology. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any practical uses for the printer in regards to my project. In the meantime, I will continue constructing my third image.

Day 10: 10/1

Over the last few days, I decided to spend some more time finding and compiling some more research material for my project, not only as a means to make connections between my own lived experiences, but also as a way to create an effective third piece of work.

One video I watched was Mental Health & Being Black: What’s Changed In The 25 Years Since Stephen Lawrence’s Murder?” From this video, I related to the shared experience of the lack of support given to people within the black community in regards to mental health and services provided to aid in the easing of symptoms. Some of the people in attendance recalled how their family members preferred powering through these things instead of discussing them. In addition to that, There is also the presentation of how the stereotypes attached to us as a group of people can affect how we are able to receive help for these issues.

Another video that I watched was “Black Mental Health Isn’t the Same as White Mental Health”  This video stresses the importance of understanding that in order to understand the mental health needs of African Americans has to come from understanding the historical trauma that we have to carry with us every day for the rest of our lives. From systematic disadvantages to the lasting effects and ideals from the slavery era, one’s sense of identity, self esteem and mental well being can be compromised. The most important connection I made from this video was the importance of church in the black community. We as a people have been conditioned from as far back as the slavery era that God is the answer to our problems. As time progressed, this idea was passed down through generations as our elders found church as a more suitable way to solve your internal problems rather than relying on medical professionals, which is understandable due to the several hundred years of being experimented on by said professionals leading to a severe lack of trust within them.  This video was also the source of inspiration for my work below, as I wanted to highlight that one’s faith was being equated to the same level of effectiveness as medication.

 

 

 

The last relevant video I viewed was “Why Does The Mental Health Stigma In The Black Community Persist? | Listen To Black Women” Although this video sort of recaps some points presented in the previous two videos, I found this one to be relevant due to the perspective given by black women. I found it SUPER relatable when they brought up how as women and especially in the case of mothers that we have to put on a facade and go though our days as if nothing is wrong because we have to present ourselves as “strong black women” and pick ourselves back up as that’s how everyone else tends to perceive our way of living. I used this video as inspiration for the work below to show that its okay to express our sense of helplessness as the world around us begins to crumble.

 

 

Day 9: 9/26

For this class session, we met in our groups and conducted presentations of our progress made so far on our projects. Unfortunately due to the previous assignments over the last 5 weeks for this class having to take priority for the  sake of my grade, my progress on my work ultimately suffered because of it. Despite this, I still sought to present my sketch work as a means of exploration for my ideas. I felt the presentation went okay, though the ideas I wanted to convey were a little misconstrued. Although the element of the importance of church in the black community was included within my intended works, I never meant for it to encompass the entirety of of my project. While the numerous suggestions were very insightful, I don’t feel as though I can use some of them.  I will, however still try to consider an audio element to incorporate to my work as it could add more depth to the project as a whole. For now my next task will be digitizing these sketches and getting the initial line work down by my next deadline.

Art Exploration

For my art exploration, I decided to focus on my favorite artists, Rebecca Sugar and the duo Bryan Konietzko and Michael Dimartino. These three are behind a lot of the concept work that went into my two favorite shows, Steven Universe and Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Between the three, I felt like Sugar’s methodologies were the most outside of what I usually do. When she creates her works or concepts for the show, She tends to approach her art with a sense of freedom. She creates what she envisions and is not afraid of making bad art. She stated that she gets her best ideas from studying the world around her, which is evident in her series in which the hometown of the main characters and even some of the main characters themselves are based around real locations from her childhood and real people that she knew/knows. By watching the video where she flips through her sketchbook, she shared that she works through a LOT of trial and error and her work is created through a series of very loose lines. Lastly, Her main inspirations for her animated series were her home, her brother for whom the show is named and magical girl anime and its form of storytelling.

 

 

For the duo affectionately known a s Bryke in online communities, Bryan and Mike have methodologies based around the generation of ideas rather than the actual process of drawing. As people who studied a lot of film production in their college days, I felt like they had a lot of unique insight that could expand my artistic horizons. For their team, They found inspiration in the many films they watched, like Studio Ghibli’s  Princess Mononoke, a film that features heavy subject matter written for young and  old audiences and containing a plethora of fantasy action sequences as well as many kung fu films. In addition to their study of the real world, they were inspired by many different cultures from around the world, one of which became the inspiration for the first sketch of a character for their future cartoon series. They also stress the importance of collaboration with projects. Their most notable example of this is their use of martial arts consultants in their show to make sure that their action sequences were as authentic as they could be. To put it into their words, their big idea for the show was a bunch of smaller ideas stitched together in a way that was fitting for their story, which is encouraging in the idea that a bunch of my smaller ideas could potentially become something bigger.

As for the experimentation, I tries using Sugar’s methods of exploring body types in combination with the three artists suggestions of observing the world around me, so I decided to also incorporate sketches of some objects I had lying around me as a start. The items include my pouch for my handheld systems, my laptop, my pencil case, my drawing tablet, and a Hi-C juice box.

 

 

 

 

Day 7: 9/19

For today’s class sessions, we visited the Toledo Museum and 20 North Gallery. To be honest, I don’t think I really got anything out of the trips that would really benefit me in the long run of my project and career wise in the future. Yes the displays were, well displayed effectively for the corresponding works, but I just don’t think I can really apply it to my work. I had to come to terms with the fact my type of work is more suited for comics and children’s books rather than galleries, so I couldn’t connect very well to the gallery work and what deemed it worthy of being there.  Despite that, I did find a few of the works to be interesting in arrangement, color and or style. For example, I found Kawase Hasui’s woodblock prints to be aesthetically pleasing. the works were so vivid in color and gradients of color that they felt like something straight out of a comic book. In addition to his work, I found Gajin Fujita’s work, Rider, was something otherworldly with it’s unique combination of urban street life with Japanese iconography.

When we visited the Sculpture X exhibit, it was refreshing to see an artist of color, but I had mixed feelings about the works presented. I’m not quite sure that I understood what the point of the work was, but each work featuring the women sitting alone with the foliage felt really lonely. I always have the notion that whatever I make will always be tagged as political because of an effort to simply place POC’s in positions or places that mainstream entertainment doesn’t bother to place us in, but what if I actively tried to NOT be political? Would that change how my work would be received? It’s still something that I have to think about, but as my first deadline is drawing closer, I seem to be having less and less time to think, so I will just have to create instead and see what becomes of it.

Day 6: 9/17

For my BFA project, I would like to create art through a digital medium. As I have spent the last three years to hone my craft, I would like my possible showcase piece to encompass everything I have learned in my time in and out of the classroom. I prefer digital painting/ illustration, so I would like my project to reflect those interests and more importantly, the skill set associated with it. Considering how I may able to time myself, I would like to create at least three works to illustrate my ideas as a series. In my series of works, I would like to illustrate the feelings and sensations that I experience as someone who faces depression and anxiety and how my perception of the world has been altered as a result.

What I found drives my project is the idea of having  the ability to bring awareness to the issues I face through my art. As a person of color, the complete lack of understanding of my issues and the stubborn attitudes of the older generations to not make the effort to understand within my culture makes addressing these issues properly almost impossible. The lack of understanding of the impact of generational traumas, dysfunctional family dynamics and the effects of society’s perception of people like me are all factors that tend to be pushed aside when discussions of minority mental health are brought up ( if they are at all). Although it would be quite the undertaking to address these issues in more than three works, I want to strive to illustrate the facets of conflicts that mean the most to me.

In terms of unique style, I would like to work in a limited color palette. I seek to work this way in an effort to convey a sense of  isolation. While everyone else is able to live in a vivid and colorful world, I seen mine as the polar opposite. Darker, yet vivid colors will accurately depict the distortion and disconnect I feel from the world around me. It’s cold and feels lonely, and I’m hoping that my choice in color will illustrate that accurately. In addition to this, I want to include the use of a consistent figure, representative of myself, in each work. As these experiences are mine, I want to make something that I can not only be excited about making, but also bring forth something that is personal to me, as I feel that I create my best work when I focus on myself.

In its final form, I will, of course, be creating three digital works. For size, I would like each to be 11 x 13 (though I can make them larger, space permitting). I would like each piece to be simply matted together as a triptych. I feel that a horizontal display may work best for this series of works. Using the eye to guide viewers through the work at about eye level would seen to be much easier to manage than going for a vertical display.

List of Equipment:

  • Printing materials
  • Matting material (26’’ x 11)

Included Below is my tentative production calendar and a possible display design

Day 5: 9/12

For this class session, we continued with our presentations. I was up seventh and I was quite nervous about how I would say what I had to say and convey it effectively. Fortunately, thinks went over decently and I have to say, it was nice to see some of my old works again. It actually made me feel like my time spent in school wasn’t a TOTAL waste. I made something, and although it was only a few things, I felt like for a brief moment that I could actually be proud of them. I felt like these works were more dear to me than others especially because they held real connections, relevance, and were representative of me, my race, and my family. For my BFA project, I hope to be able to continue exploring those themes and feelings and create at least 3 well done pieces at the minimum. I’mm trying to decide if I want to make pieces related to my perception of the world through the lenses of my race and/or mental illness, or make a few works dedicated to the sensations i have to deal with  related to dealing with anxiety, depression, and the  Once I draft up my contract and get a schedule together, I hope I’ll be able to get myself started promptly. The pressure is on for sure, but I think I may be on to something.

Day 4: 9/10

Today, we began the first half of our initial art presentations. To be honest, I was really unsure about how we should talk about our artwork and what information would be seen as relevant to presentation. Luckily, chose to go on the second day to see if I could at least meet the expectations set by the first day. I can say with certainty that the people who went today had a really impressive collection of work. From my classmate whose focus was on landscape, to the other who made 3D glass-based work, to even my roommate who amassed a large volume of work with such organic movement, it was very hard not to be amazed by how skilled everyone was. When it comes to my work, however, I feel as though it’s okay, but hasn’t improved the way I would have wanted it to over the last four years. I honestly felt like the work I did on my own outside of a school setting was among some of my best work, but I’ve only done two images like that over the course of  the last 3 years and one of them was anime fan art.

As far as preparations for the final project go, I’m quite intimidated by all of the restrictions placed on what we can’t do, which is ironic considering we were told we were finally going to be able to do something that we actually wanted to do. All I can think of topic wise is focusing on either the lack of attention given to African American mental health or my experience through life feeling like an outcast not only through my skin color but also the hobbies/ activities that I engage in (which in the black community are seen as “white” things to engage in like fandom/nerd culture, and how I carry myself as compared to others of my race in my age group. I feel like I am able to create my best work when I’m focusing on myself or experiences that I can relate to. How I will be able to create that without using illustrations or a pre-written narrative is beyond me, but hopefully with some research I plan on conducting, it may come to me.

Day 3: 9/5

Today’s class was a little hard to sit in on due to more emotional issues. What I can say I did get were several opinions on artists from the previous section. I found myself agreeing with  Cloe’s point on trying to understand how Susan Kae Grant managed to bring her dreams into reality exactly the way she remembered it. When our instructors insisted it was most likely a lot of practice,  I could only think about how much effort possibly went into every shoot she had conducted, and how many hours were possibly spent getting each image just right. That kind of dedication to my craft is something that I hope that I’ll be able to regain before it’s too late, especially after all these years of being hindered.

After I finally calmed myself down after my time outside of class, I reproached a suggestion to me by a few family members that could possibly become the basis of my studio project: “What if you made a story around how you’ve had to cope with your mental illness?” As interesting as having this sort of hurdle in my life explained through the lenses of an African American where mental illnesses are considered a “taboo topic”, something that is heavily stigmatized and something that we simply have to power through on your own with no real resources to cope properly, I think that If i tried a project like that, it may be able to help people like me who feel that they have no one and on where to turn to for help. I guess its just a thought for now.