6 sentence
Character stuck in lobby of building
Sees parking attendant bend over his car
Runs to the rotating door to get out
Cant get the door to stop in the right place/ cant get out
Is thrown back in to main lobby and see a fire exit, and goes through it
Finds a ticket on his car
Character in bedroom
Phone rings voiceover tells him to get over here quick
Cant find his keys Searches under bed and is pulled under
See the junk of ages coming for him
Turns to get away and see his keys just laying on the ground in the middle of the floor
Crawls his way out with the junk trying to pull him back
Alright the first story could use a bit more closure; the fact that he just gets a ticket leads me expecting more. Perhaps an argument or comical chase into the distance with the attendant. However, the main problem that I see with this story is the main obstacle, the revolving door. Having a character get stuck or can’t use a door like this has been overdone and then some. The idea of a man trying to not get a ticket is a good concept, but perhaps he could get to his car by other means. Off the top of my head, maybe the building could be a more of a sky-scraper and he looks far down and sees his car receiving a ticket. He tries the elevator but it’s on the 3rd floor and our main character is on the 107th. Next he tries the stairs, but they’re closed for some reason, so he is forced to take a fire escape. Here you could have a lot of fun fleshing out the fire escape scene: he falls down some stairs, jumps between building fire escapes, zip-lines down a clothesline, ultimately falling the final few floors. Tattered after the being beaten by his decent, he stumbles and passes out just as he reaches the car, the parking ticket that was on the car blows off and lands over his face. I don’t know, just an idea.
The second story is pretty good, but make sure the character isn’t just stumbling between the junk; have the junk come to life and pull him. I would also change the voice message to be something more comical; I think it was in “The Simpsons Movie” where Lennie called Homer saying that the health inspector just shut down the doughnut shop, and they were giving out the bad doughnuts for free. Just an example, but something to consider.
Your first story is probably the strongest, but will also require a fair amount of environment modeling as well as, I think, another obstacle. Unless, of course, you make it perfectly clear that the parking attendant is intending on writing a ticket. If that’s what is inevitable, make it very clear in your animation, and probably put that in your summary here, too.
Your second story has no resolution. Also, keep in mind you’d have to model both the main character AND the J.O.A. (Junk Of Ages)