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Prewriting for Essay #4
Analyzing and Defining the Problem
Answer the following questions in a few sentences or in a list when appropriate:

The large number of people who smoke on Bowling Green State University’s Campus

1. Does this problem really exist? How can you tell?

Yes there are reports on BGSU’s website showing real numbers of students who smoke on campus

2. What caused this problem? What are some immediate causes? What are some deeper causes? Consider: Is this problem caused by a flaw in the system, a lack of resources, individual misconduct or incompetence, something else? How can you tell? List as many causes as you can think of.

Students learn to smoke when they are young, a lack of parents/new found freedom
Students do not seem concerned with the health risk

3. What is the history of this problem? Who has been involved? How have they been affected? Have people tried to address this problem in the past? If so, how? What changed and why (or why did something not change)?

Smoking has always been a problem among youth, Bowling Green has made a lot of steps forwards to make a difference and change the number of students who smoke. They have implemented a few programs and made it prohibitited to smoke in any buildings on campus

4. What are the bad effects of this problem? How does it harm members of the community or group? What goals of the group and endangered by the existence of this problem? Does it raise any moral or ethical questions?

Smoking causes many health dieses, litter, and second hand smoke harms others

5. Who is the community or group is affected by the problem? Be as specific as possible: Who is seriously affected? Minimally affected? Unaffected? Does anyone benefit from its existence?

The students and facility will be directly affected by this problem

6. What similar problems exist in this same community or group? How can you distinguish your problem from these others?

Drinking, drug use
Defining: Write a definition of the problem, being as specific as possible. Identify who or what seems responsible for it, and give one recent, telling example to prove it.

Students and facility are smoking on campus and this is negatively affecting their health and others. Students cannot go fifty minutes without smoking, they are not focused on class but rather the next smoke.

Identifying Your Audience
If you did not finish your audience worksheet in class, do it now.

Finding a Tentative Solution
Solving problems takes time. Apparent solutions often turn out to be impossible. After all, a solution has to be both workable and acceptable to the community or group involved. Consequently, you should strive to come up with several possible solutions whose advantages and disadvantages you can weigh. You may notice that the most imaginative solutions sometimes occur to you only after you have struggled with a number of other possibilities.

Look back at the way you defined the problem and described your readers. Then, with these factors in mind, list as many possible solutions to the problem as you can think of. You might come up with only two or three possible solutions, but at this stage, the more the better. To come up with different solutions, use the following problem-solving questions:

1. What solutions to this problem have already been tried?
Do not allow smoking in the buildings on campus
Help programs through the wellness center
2. What solutions have been proposed for related problems? Might they solve this problem as well?

3. Is a solution required that would disband or change the community or group in some way?
It would change their work force, government and entire economic market
This solution would greatly disrupt the BGSU community
People would hopefully buy less cigarettes which would negatively affect the economy
This would also conflict with what some might consider as rights

4. What solution might eliminate some of the causes of the problem?
Awareness groups might allow for less people to start smoking at early ages

5. What solution would eliminate any of the bad effects of the problem?
If people did not smoke

6. Is the problem too big to be solved all at once? Can you divide it into several related problems? What solutions might solve one or more of these problems?
This problem could be solved in one rule passes by the dean of students it would take some time but it could be done with only one action

7. If a series of solutions is required, which should come first? Second?

8. What solution would ultimately solve the problem?
Banning smoking on BGSU’s campus

9. What might be a daring solution, arousing the most resistance but perhaps holding out the most promise?
Banning smoking on the BGSU campus

10. What would be the most conservative solution, acceptable to nearly everyone in the community or group?
Creating a help program to help people stop smoking

11. Is there a way to combine these last two (or other) solutions to reach a compromise?
NO!

Choosing the Most Promising Solution: In a sentence or two, state what you consider to be the best possible way of solving the problem.

Determining Specific Steps: Write down the major stages or steps necessary to carry out your solution. This list of steps will provide an early test of whether your solution can, in fact, be implemented.
Get the school board aware of the problem and they would have to take it to the students for a vote then they would have to revise the student hand book, retrain staff to enforce the new rule and ensure all students and staff are aware of the new rule

Defending Your Solution
Proposals have to be feasible – that is, they must be both reasonable and practical. Imagine that your audience strongly opposes your proposed solution and confronts you with the following statements. Write a response to refute each one and convince your audience that they’re wrong:
• Your solution would not really solve the problem
It would if you banned smoking then students would not be able to smoke on campus
• I am comfortable with things as they are
Are you really comfortable breathing in cancer
• We cannot afford your solution
It would be costly to re-train staff to enforce these laws but less people would be needed to pick up trash on campus
• Your solution would take too long
This would be a very quick solution
• People would not do it
If there was some sort of punishment for breaking the rules of not smoking on campus then you would follow the rules
• Too few people would benefit
The entire campus would benefit from not having the trash and smoke on campus
• I do not even see how to get started on your solution
The dean is where you would start
• We already tried that, with unsatisfactory results
They have not tried to make it a smoke free campus yet
• You support this proposal merely because it would benefit you personally
Most people would support this because it benefits them, the campus and the enviroment

Testing Your Choice
Now examine the problem and your proposed solution to see whether you can write a strong proposal. You need to seriously consider but not necessarily write down answers to the following questions. However, if you cannot answer the 7 questions in the following sections positively, you likely need to reconsider your choice of problem or do more thinking to support your solution:

1. Is this a significant problem? Do other people in the community or group really care about it, or can they be persuaded to care?
2. Will my solution really solve the problem? Have I worked out how it can be implemented in an affordable way?
3. Can I answer objections from enough people in the community or group to win support for my solution?

Do You Know Enough? Review all of your notes to see whether you understand the problem well enough to argue convincingly for your solution. To make this decision, try to answer the following questions:

4. Do I now know enough about the problem or can I learn what I need to know in the time remaining? (If you need to learn more, make a list of what you still need to find out)
5. Do I understand the problem well enough to convince my readers that it really exists and is serious? (If you do not understand various sides/perspectives of the problem, you will not be able to convince your audience they should listen to your suggestions)

Do You Care Enough? In choosing a problem, you are making a commitment both to yourself and to your readers. You are obligating yourself to do the work necessary to learn what you need to know about the problem and to develop an argument supporting your solution. At the same time, you are making a commitment to your readers to make your proposal feasible. To decide whether you can make this commitment, answer the following questions:

6. Do you feel a personal interest in the problem you have chosen? If so, on what in your experience or learning might this interest be based? Have you chosen a problem related to a special interest of yours? Have you known something about this problem for a long time, or are you just now beginning to learn about it? Is the problem so interesting to you that you are willing to arrange your time over the next two weeks to work on your proposal?
7. Do you think you can make a convincing argument for your proposed solution? Are you convinced that your solution is better than the alternative solutions your readers may prefer?

Offering Reasons for Your Proposal
To make a convincing case for your proposed solution, you must offer your audience good reasons for adopting your proposal.

Listing Reasons. Write down every plausible reason you could give that might persuade your audience to accept your proposal. These reasons should answer your audience’s key question: Why is this the best possible solution?

Choosing the Strongest Reasons. Put an asterisk (*) next to the strongest reasons – the reasons most likely to be convincing to your intended audience. If you do not consider at least two or three of your reasons strong, you will probably have difficulty developing a strong proposal and should reconsider your topic.

Evaluating Your Strongest Reasons. Now look at your strongest reasons and explain briefly why you think each one will be effective with your particular audience.

Considering Alternative Solutions
List alternative solutions that members of the group or community might offer when they learn about your solution, and consider the advantages and disadvantages of each one relative to your solution. Even if members are likely to consider your proposal reasonable, they will probably want to compare your proposed solution with other possible solutions. Put your preferred solution and any alternative solutions into the following chart (Realize that the “strongest reasons” from above that are not your “best” solution might now become “alternative solutions”):
Possible Solutions Advantages Disadvantages
Best Solution-Banning Solutions Less trash
Less cancer People will have to go long ways to smoke
Alternative Solution 1- Antismoking Campaign Create awareness in the community Cost
Might be inaffective
Alternative Solution 2- Awareness Groups Students can unit together They will more than likely not have the students who do smoke
Alternative Solution 3-
Help Groups to Stop Smoking Support the students who want to quit
The

Searching the Web can be a productive way of learning about solutions other people have proposed or tried out. Use online research to explore at least two alternative solutions. Your purpose is to gain information about these solutions that will help you evaluate them fairly. Here are some specific suggestions for finding information about solutions:

• Enter keywords – words or brief phrases related to the problem or a solution – into a search tool such as Google or the databases in the library. For example, if you are concerned that many children in your neighborhood have no adult supervision after school, you could try keywords associated with the problem such as latchkey kids or keywords associated with possible solutions such as after-school programs.

• If you think solutions to your problem may have been proposed by a government agency, you could try adding the word government to your keywords or searching on FirstGov.gov, the U.S. government’s official Web portal. For example, you might explore the problem of latchkey children by following links at the Website of the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services (www.hhs.gov). If you want to see whether the problem has been addressed in your state or by local government, you can go to the Library of Congress Internet Resource Page on State and Local Governments (http://www.loc.gov/rr/news/stategov/stategov.html) and follow the links.

Add any information you find from your online research to your chart of the advantages and disadvantages of alternative solutions. Bookmark or keep a record of promising sites. You may want to download or copy information you could use in your essay, including visuals; if you do, remember to record documentation information (MLA).

Once you have filled this in, save it! You will likely want to come back to it as you draft and revise this essay. (Also, this is your prewriting, so you’ll want to print it to include in your portfolio.)

Swine Flu Frezy
The grading system
The cost of higher education
Illegal Immegration

Can we share ideas out loud as a brain-storming, I feel somewhat stuck on what to do this essay on

Introduction
List the Reasons
Little girls want to be her
They like the singing/dancing
She is part of the Disney brand
Her dad is Billy Ray Cyrus
Counterarguements
Conclusion

Par 1-Introduction
Par 2-Counterarguements
Par 3-Morals
Par 4-Little girls want to be her
Par 5-Little girls like the singing and dancing
Par 6-Her Father if Billy Ray Cyrus
Par 7-She has the Disney brand backing her
Par 8- Conclusion

Speculating about Causes: Prewriting Worksheet
You can type your answers right into this and print it out to bring to class on Monday, Oct. 19.

The trend I will examine in this essay is (write a few sentences in order to describe the trend clearly) Hint: Be sure to state the actual question you want to answer:

Why is Hannah Montana so popular with young girls?

Here are a couple paragraphs that explore what I already know about this trend/topic:

Hannah Montana is a pop sensation! Her show came into the media forefront in the middle of 2000’s. The television show portrays the life of Miley Cyrus who is secretly the pop star Hannah Montana. Hannah can sing, dance, get the cute boys, and win everyone’s heart. She always solves whatever problem arises in 30 minutes or less. The Hannah Montana label covers cd’s, dvd’s, clothes, wigs, toys, games, concerts and much more.

Without doing any research, I tend to think this trend is primarily caused by (list all):

Disney brand/logo backing
She sings and dances
Her dad is Billy Ray Cyrus
Wholesome life lessons
She has a secret life
Young girls want to be her
She is a pop star
She is cute, girls want to look like/be like her

RESEARCH TIME! Begin looking for sources now.
These are some sources I have found that give me more information about this trend (including citations and a brief description of how you’d use the source):

1. Everybody Loves Hannah Montana

2. 30 Seconds on Hannah/Miley

3. Tweens, Not Tweets

After conducting my research, I have discovered the following:
Statistics that prove this trend exists:

Information about when this trend began:
Disney Channel March 24, 2006 when 5.4 million people tuned in to watch

This group is primarily affected by this trend:
Girls ages 6-11
She also effects older generations such as the parents and grandparents and those in their teens

This is how the trend has affected them:
They now have a new role model/hero

These are the consequences (positive and negative) of this trend continuing:
Disney has profited exponentially

I think others might think this trend is being caused by:
Little girls fascination with her, she is the ‘superman’ of their generation

But here are some problems with that/those explanations:
Why are little girls so fascinated with her

My thoughts about what factors might be driving this trend (brainstorming activity):

Environmental – has anything in particular happened in recent history to cause this trend (for example, new legislation, specific technological advances, shifts in gender roles, advertising campaigns, a large-scale catastrophe)?

Biological/Psychological – could the way human beings are internally wired be causing this trend? Could this be driven by a biological need? Explore the human brain as the cause of this trend.
Little girls need someone to look up to
They want to be able to fantasize about a life they could have while keeping their own “they get the best of both worlds”

Spiritual – does religion (or the lack thereof) play a role in this trend?

She teaches young children morals, of episode teaches a lesson

Social – might the way our society is currently set up or the way Americans conduct their day-to-day lives influence this trend? Consider, for example, work routines, gender roles, family interaction, the way people spend their free time, where they buy their food, what kinds of product they buy, what they consider “fun” or “boring,” and so on.

Gender separation is occurring at younger and younger ages now days, little girls separate themselves from boys at younger and younger ages

Why do schools spend more time on sports than athletics?
Why are people getting married at older ages?
Why are young teens/pre-teens getting pregenant at such an early age?
Why is Hannah Montanna so popular?
Why is the drinking age 21?

Revision Plan
1. Fix Citations
2. Add more to thesis
3. Make topic sentences stronger

Introduction: Have you ever consider where the cute puppies in the pet store come from? For the most part the dogs are coming from a place that can only be compared to as hell. They are bred solely for the purpose of making money. The puppies are born into small cages and fed malnuroishing meals. They are then shipped inhumanly all around the world. We need to stop patronizing such stores, to aid in the prevention of animal cruelty.
Conclusion: If we stop buying from pet stores/commercial breeders then we will be able to stop the cruelty of thousands of animals. Other options are available if you would like to buy a dog or better yet you could rescue one. Animals from commercial breeders are often sick and genetically unhealthy due to inbreeding, do you really want to love something that is going to die soon anyways?

Introduction:Imagine a life with no freedom, never knowing what grass feels like or the wind in your hair as you run through a yard. Imagine always competing for your food or never knowing love. This is the life of thousands of dogs as they suffer this inhumane treatment day in and out for their entire lives. Who is subjecting these dogs to such atrocious environments? Commercial breeders, also known as puppy mills, are breeding these dogs everyday for the sole purpose of profit. Puppy mills are creating unnecessary misery for thousands of dogs, but we can stop the suffering if we stop buying from pet stores that obtain their dogs from irresponsible commercial breeders.
Conclusion:Puppy mills need to be shut down for good, or the pain and suffering of thousands of dogs is going to continue. Commercial breeders are irresponsible, money driven companies that need to be stopped. Next time you go to purchase a new four legged friend, think about what you are really buying.

I liked the feed back but I do not feel that i really recieved any new ideas or helpful hints.

I believe puppy mills are wrong
because animal abuse is wrong
because mass animal breeding creates genetic defects
because people need to support adoption
because it will clear out shelters
because you can save a life
because puppy mills are run soley for profit

Animal abuse is unneccessary and leads to other problems.  Puppy mills are also dangerous to the community leading to higher crime rate. Animals bred in puppy mills often have genetic defects that can create behavior and health problems.  Shelters are over flowing with animals need homes.  If people do not buy from puppy mills they will be shut down and they will no longer exist.

Animals bred in puppy mills have genetic defects. Some may argue that animals in shelters have been abused thus they have mental issues. While this is true the genetic defects can be stopped once the commercial breeding ends. The mental abuse can be worked around.

Some people want pure breds. They are beautiful and they do show statues. Dog shows are imporant to many people however most of the dogs are responsibly bred. Shelters also have pure breds but they do not have the papers.

People who support pet stores. They will be for puppy mills because they sell cheap puppies and they do not want to lose profits

That pure bred dogs are better than mutts. There is no difference between dogs breeds. Every dog has their own personalities. Pet stores will offer any excuse to sell their dogs. They want to make profit.

I am writing my paper to preesuade people to not support puppy mills and pet stores that use puppy mills. I would like to present alternatives to my readers such as buying from a reputable breeder or adoption.

THESIS
1.) Commercial breeding also known as puppy mills are creating unneccessary suffering for thousands of animals everyday, the only way to prevent the suffering, we must stop buying puppies from commercial breeders.