Scott Brady’s GSW 1110 Blog (Fall 2009)

• Plagiarism is considered academic dishonesty
• Plagiarism is cheating
• If caught, plagiarism will result in expulsion
• Even if the writer paraphrases, summarizes, or even uses the main focus of another’s writing without citations, it is considered plagiarism and academic dishonesty
• Forging  signatures is considered academic dishonesty
• Previous essays should not be used without permission of both professors/teachers
• Having another person complete your own work is considered academic dishonesty
• Using false information is academic dishonesty

                In my argumentative essay, I plan on writing about the issue of parents monitoring their children online. First off, I feel that parents should not monitor their children without their children being aware of it. Part of the growing stage for adolescents is the right to have a gain in independency and privacy. When parents are secretive and sneaky about monitoring it may only make matters worse for their adolescent.

                I decided to choose this topic because it interested me the most and I can relate to it. I spend a lot of time online and use some of the major social networks like Facebook and MySpace. I am also a young-adult that was closely monitored not so much online, but with life in general. I am passionate for the belief that adolescents and young adults need (yes, NEED) independency and privacy. I believe that secretiveness from parents can cause rebellion by children and also, possibly more important, lack and loss of communication between parents and children.

                In writing the essay, I will begin by obtaining some simple research about why young-adults and adolescents need independency and privacy. The body paragraphs will be rationale topics that back up why young-adults and adolescents need privacy. These topics will be decided after basic research is obtained on the topic. Possible topics may include: adolescent rebellion, the safety of social networking, why adolescents need privacy, and more.

The tentative thesis for the essay is: “Parents should not monitor their children without their children being aware of it.”

                To start with the Frontline video, we can look at its title “Growing up Online.” Before seeing anything, the viewer can clearly see the topic of argument. This title should tell the viewer right away that it is about recent generations and they’re growth linked to technology, computers, and specifically the internet. Although the viewer cannot determine which side of the argument the video is on, they can still tell what the argument is about.

                At the start of the video, the viewer should clearly be able to notice which side of the argument the video is showing. This is the parents concern and disapproval about their children’s interaction with the internet, specifically social networking sites.

                As the video continues, it goes into much detail with supporting arguments and reasons for the parents side of the issue. These reasons are very plausible and convincing, but are only one side. This shows success in the video.

                Later in the video, it not only shows supporting arguments of the parents side of the issue, but also shows counterarguments and overcomes them. By doing this, it adds to the credibility of the parents’ side of the issue and has a way of convincing the viewer.

“Types of Supports that are Discussed or Used”

• Research (many sources and citations)
• Evidence of support by large groups or many people
• Statistics
• Quotes
• Counterarguments
• Risks within the writing (stating something that may lose some readers)
• Overcoming the drop of readers
• Reaffirming your position several times
• Comparisons/Connections

As stated in the introduction to “Arguing a Position”, “this chapter presents a more deliberate way of arguing that we call reasoned argument because it depends on giving reasons rather than raising voices.” In other words, in a reasoned argument, the writer’s goal is to get the reader to take their stand on an opinionated argument. The best way to accomplish this is to have an abundance of support that adds to the writers stand on the argument.

Although there are many more types of supports for reasoned argument, some of the main types of support are listed above. The writer should use multiple types of support and multiple examples throughout the essay.  For example, in the essay “Children Need to Play, Not Compete”, the writer uses 11 different sources and cites each of them at least once. Another excellent way to attach the reader is to state and overcome a counterargument. This allows the reader to view both sides of the argument and adds to the credibility to the writers’ position. Despite it not being in the list above, I personally believe that one of the most important aspects of a reasoned argument is to keep the reader attracted and interested. This is especially useful for the reader’s that are against the writers’ position. All of these techniques and supports should be freely used and are designed to add to the credibility of a specific position and persuade the reader to believe in the writers’ position of an argument.

I will focus part of my revision on the question “Does each paragraph lead to the next?.” I chose this strategy because it is a simple, yet effective way to double check for organization within the essay. This will also add to the essay’s structure.

            The major revising focus in my This I Believe essay will be on the personal story inside the essay. After reviewing this several times and once with a peer, I realized that the story may not be as descriptive and effective as possible. There is only one paragraph in the essay that explains my story. Although, by expanding the story, it will cause me to run into another problem. The essay is already just over 500 words. Due to its current length, this revising plan will require me to cut out other parts of the essay so that it will not increase in length. As of right now, I am assuming that the majority of cuts will come out of the introduction and second paragraph. I do not think that these cuts will limit the effectiveness of the essay. They should, actually, make the essay better.

            Along with revising the personal story inside the essay, I also plan on changing simple things like grammar and confusing sentences. Many of these problems occurred in the introduction and conclusion. This will include re-wording a few sentences, changing words, possibly adding a sentence, and even deleting entire sentences that are not important. After completing these two revising tasks, I feel that my essay will be complete.

·         Many of the essays base what they believe in on a specific past learning experience (usually an extremely troubling or hard experience)

o   Ex.  “Science” – Brian was discouraged from science because it made him feel extremely small. He overcame this realizing that, although small, we are incredibly special and blessed to have life

o   Ex.  “In giving” – Isabel lost her daughter at a young age

·         In none of the essays is the writer trying to persuade the reader to “believe” what they believe in, but more rather to teach the reader a lesson or to simply tell a story

·         All of the essays took between 3.5-5 minutes to read

The most interesting aspect of the book “This I Believe” is the fact that the point of the book cannot be explained by one individual. This, I believe. With that said, “This I Believe” is left to be interpreted, judged, and taken in by the readers themselves. Some readers do not value the beliefs of others while others may, very well, end up living by someone else’s beliefs.

To go about selecting a “This I Believe” essay to be published, editors first look at the basic structure of the essay. They do not want the writer to determine right from wrong or to persuade the reader in any way. The type of essay wanted is one that simply shows what a person believes in and why they believe in it by showing specific stories and experiences. Finally, the reader is left with the openness to decipher exactly how they want to interpret and react to the essay.

I believe that writing truly can bring out the best in an individual. Writing is a way of expressing a persons true, honest thoughts.

I would tell the professor that writing is important to me because it is a main part of the gateway to my future. Without good writing skills, it will be extremely difficult to get a job in any profession.

Writing is important to you (a ten year old) because it is a skill you be using and perfecting for the rest of your life. It is a way of getting your foot in the door of opportunities for your future.