9/4/09 Reader Response
The major revising focus in my This I Believe essay will be on the personal story inside the essay. After reviewing this several times and once with a peer, I realized that the story may not be as descriptive and effective as possible. There is only one paragraph in the essay that explains my story. Although, by expanding the story, it will cause me to run into another problem. The essay is already just over 500 words. Due to its current length, this revising plan will require me to cut out other parts of the essay so that it will not increase in length. As of right now, I am assuming that the majority of cuts will come out of the introduction and second paragraph. I do not think that these cuts will limit the effectiveness of the essay. They should, actually, make the essay better.
Along with revising the personal story inside the essay, I also plan on changing simple things like grammar and confusing sentences. Many of these problems occurred in the introduction and conclusion. This will include re-wording a few sentences, changing words, possibly adding a sentence, and even deleting entire sentences that are not important. After completing these two revising tasks, I feel that my essay will be complete.