Coming of Age in Secondlife Chap. 6
Chapter 6 in Boellstorff’s book talks about the intimacy that can take place in Secondlife. Intimacy has always been important issue in real life so it is no wonder that people who are logged onto Secondlife experience intimacy issues.
The first thing that is mentioned is about the language and dialect that is used in the virtual world. Boellestroff talks about three aspects of language that are essential and seen in Secondlife. The first one is about text over voice which is when a person is able to talk to someone through a chat window which would only be processed when the person hits return. This instance allows people to talk more than one person at once which could not take place in the real world. Another concept is the emergence of ims and how they could be sent to any resident in Secondlife or emailed to them if the person they were contacting was not on. One could also have multiple conversations with someone which brings up the importance of text over voice which could be seen when people have voice conversations while having text conversations. Lastly, Boellstrtoff talks about how English was the dominant language on Secondlife life and that people from other countries were torn with all the slang of people and their interpretations from other parts of the world that it made it difficult to understand. Altogether, language could be intimate to someone based on their own individual experience on how they interpret it.
The next section talks about friendship and how some go on secondlife to meet new friends and how others are not looking so much for friends but to entertain themselves like building things and buying clothes. Mainly, however, people would seek others to be friends with them. People found that friendship was the ultimate form of a pure relationship and people searched for others virtually because it was easier than going out and finding them in the real world. Secondlife residents could find friends privately or publicly through events of interest. Boellstroff goes on to talk about how, if one becomes friends with another on SL, they may eventually talk about their real lives as well. When talk to others who seem to have interest in what you are saying it provides them with an amount of intimacy between people.
Sexuality was also another reason why people would join Secondlife. Some people would see sex online as deeply meaningful while others wanted to explore the boundaries they put up for themselves in the real world. In SL, people could be seen having sex together, there was no where to hind while engaging but regardless engaging in these activities brought up many real life emotions such as intimacy. Sexuality in SL can also be controversial because people may, for example, embody themselves as children for sex which discomforts some residents. SL, however, was also a place for sexual expression where people could be free to be openly gay or a lesbian that they maybe felt uncomfortable doing in the real world. According to Boellstroff it either provided a closet for them to hide and still express emotions or a place where they could become more comfortable about it before they come out to the real world.
The section about love talks about how some people develop an online partner which could develop into a significant other such as a husband or wife. People can form relationships with the persons self in the virtual world not the person they or the other are in the real world. They fall in love with the character they portray in the virtual world. People usually form these bonds based on mutual interests. Once this bond is formed the couple will often travel the virtual world discovering and meeting new mutual friends with one another. A couple could even show their love and affection by getting married, that goes for same sex or heterosexual partners. Some people claim, who had love relationships on SL, that they enjoyed meeting someone in cyberspace because they got to know someone without them or the other being judged by their physical appearance. Some issues, brought up by Boellstroff, claims that some people hide behind their online self and sometimes lie about their actual self which leads to betrayal.
The last two sections of the chapter talk about family and addiction. In dealing with family, sometimes the virtual world is a good place for actual life family members can come and catch up and experience things with others. Some people, who become couples, create children for their own. These sometimes cross boundaries of them being used for sexual purposes but other times these created children are doing normal children activities. Addiction on Secondlife was also very common. people sometimes get so caught up in their virtual lives they spend most of their real life on the site. For SL residents they either stopped participating as much in real life activities and take up most of their day that their real life activities distracted their from their virtual ones.
Overall, I thought that this chapter defined what questions and concerns I had about SL and virtual worlds. I am someone that does not go to these sites often so I do not have much experience in understanding how people can have strong emotions about SL. However, after reading I found it was their personal characteristics and forming a bond based on mutual experiences that people make friends and relationships with people, without the physical aspect. I think that this is a good thing because people get judged a lot about their appearance and sometimes will not make friends based on this. Therefore virtual relationships, to me, do not seem as judgemental because you learn about someone first before you can judge.