mmfork’s blog

For essay #2, my topic is going to be that BGSU needs to have

more of the Emergency Blue posts all through out the campus.

The changes I need to to make in my organization is to make my introduction paragraph and thesis statement in the order that I’m going to address it in the paper.

I learned from my peer review that I need to work on my use of repeating myself through out the paper.  I also need to work on my proper use of the word “there”. I plan to focus on getting down to the deatils of why I feel the way I do about my topic. I will use more specific details, and also have more facts and stats through out my next essay.

For this essay, I am going to write about an organization for sports lovers that didn’t sign up to play in college.  This is a good idea for a paper because I have learned from many people that they love to play sports, but didn’t want it to interfere with their school work.