On this page, you are supposed to post your topic, your thesis and your topic sentences. Propose at least 3 solutions to the problem you pick. State clearly which ONE solution is the best. This work is due by 12 on 11/5. Look at other students’ posts so that you have an idea of what they will write about, and give feedback to be best of your knowledge.
In this post include the following:
1. title
2. the problem
3. audience
4. solutions (ONE is the best solution, the others are possible/alternative solutions.)
5. thesis/forecast (Try to be specific. I expect well-constructed and complete sentences, sentences you actually use in your essay.)
Topic sentence 1(actual sentence you will use in your essay):
Topic sentence 2 (actual sentence you will use in your essay):
Topic sentence 3((actual sentence you will use in your essay):
6. counterargument-concession (if you use the outline I distributed in class today)
7. conclusion
4:53 pm - 11-3-2009
My topic is High School teen pregnancy in Ohio and how it can be reduced if high school students are better educated about sex.
Thesis: Teen pregnancy is becoming more and more of a problem in Ohio, but this problem can be easily solved if teens were simply more educated about sex and pregnancy.
Solution to problem: This problem can be resolved if teens are more educated about sex and pregnancy.
Topic sentence ideas:
1. History of teen pregnancy in Ohio
2. Statistics of teen pregnancy
3. Sex education in Ohio
4. Solution
4:20 pm - 11-4-2009
Remington Petrow
1. Littering: Plague of the Footpaths
2. trash on the streets and sidewalks
3. people who walk in areas with trash, people concerned about the environment, groundskeepers, etc
4. Best solution-Public/Private clean up crews, other solutions-harsher fines, PSAs
5. Although often disregarded as minimal, littering has become a major issue that pollutes the streets of our country.
The first step toward a cleaner tomorrow is to get everyone to actively participate in the fight to stop littering.
6. Local communities are too strapped for cash and lack the resources for a proper clean up. This is true but unless something is done, it will only get worse.
7. Overall, what may seem like a small issue can quickly become a very large one, possibly polluting our environment.
7:15 pm - 11-4-2009
Your audience is too general. Think about the example I gave you in class this morning. Who are concerned? If you think all the people and all the sidewalks are going to be envolved, then who can make your proposals happen? Even the administer of national environment cannot make it happen, because he has to propose and go through some procedures. You cannot oversimplify the feasibility. Something small, something local will prove to be manageable. For example, the environment in your hometown, in BG, or some problems in your high school.
Do some preliminary research, and slow down thinking about your paper, not just this assignment.
12:26 am - 11-5-2009
1. Sexual Harassment
2. Sexual harassment is becoming more common on college campuses.
3. college students
4. walking in groups at night, better security on campuses, and students need to be safer at night on campus
5. In today’s society sexual harassment is becoming more and more common on college campuses.
6. Topic Sentences 1. Students decide to walk home at night alone on campus thinking nothing bad is going to happen, but this is not the case. 2. Safety on college campuses is not nearly as safe as it used to be and I believe campus police can step up the security on campuses at night. 3. Teenagers today think that they are invincible and nothing can hurt them, but sexual harassment is becoming a huge problem throughout campuses.
8. Overall, the statistics for sexual harassment can be reduced if these three factors came into play.
8:52 am - 11-5-2009
Response to #4
You have a problem with understanding your audience: “walking in groups” is for your audience, college students, but the other two concerning safety, which is more general than sexual harrassment, is for the campus police.
You should have a specific group of people and the locality in mind when you propose solutions. Are you going to solve this problem for all college students in America? How is it possible? How can you make it happen.
If your topic is concerning BGSU, some of your solutions don’t work, because in BG there is “escort service” which encourage students to ask for a ride when you walk home in the dark.
You have to do research when you are thinking about your topic and propose solutions.
10:42 am - 11-5-2009
1. Title
Working Title
2. the problem
The first thing that jumped into my mind was parking. You have to spend $50 for a parking pass. Then you have to park a mile away. It’s not convenient at all. If you want to park closer, near your dorm, for example, then you have to pay more by putting money in the parking meter. If you choose not to pay, you get a $25 ticket. Commuters also have a problem. They have arrive very early. Most of the time they are unable to find a parking spot so they risk getting a parking ticket and park close to campus so they are not late for class.
3. Audience
Every college student with a car on campus, especially commuters.
4. solutions
A possible solution could be to build a parking garage or have free two hour parking on weekdays.
5. thesis/forecast. College students across campus know how frustrating parking can be, not to mention parking tickets and distant parking spaces nowhere near classrooms. One needs to do something about this problem. Perhaps there could be free two-hour parking on weekdays, or even better, a new parking garage.
Topic sentence 1: One solution to this problem would be to allow free two hour parking on weekdays.
Topic sentence 3: The best solution to solving this problem would be to build a parking garage.
6. counterargument-concession
Building a parking garage may not be the most perfect
solution because it may cost a lot of money. In the long run though, once the garage is built, commuters and students living on campus with cars alike will benefit. They will be much closer to classes and their dorms and they won’t have to pay a lot to do so.
7. Conclusion.
With the economy as bad as it is today, a poor college student does not need more costly things to pay for. They are already worried about tuition, meal plans, and room and board, why add another expense?
11:23 am - 11-5-2009
My topic is about Obesity in America.
Title-Obesity Eniched America
Thesis-America is the fattest nation, and the solutions to this problem are no processed foods, cheaper healthy food, and to stop using corn in all of our foods.
Audience- America
Topic Sentence 1- The first possible solution to ending obesity is to stop making processed foods with unnessicary ingredients.
Topic Sentence 3- Lastly, the most plausible solution to obesity is to make healthy foods cheaper.
Counterargument- Healthy foods cost a lot of money to keep them organic and you can not just give them away. If people really wanted to eat healthy they would spend the money.
Conclusion- Ending obesity in America seems like an easy task, but in reality it will take a lot of time and consideration. Americans are not buying organic healthy food because they do not have the money to. The cheap food is the processed, high carbohydrate foods.
12:33 pm - 11-5-2009
1. Teen Pregnancy: A Growing Problem in Ohio
2. The increase of teen pregnancies in Ohio
3. Teens, college level students, and the parents of teens
4. To reduce abstinence-only programs, increace the giving out or free contraception, and most importantly expanding sexual education to cover all aspects
5. To decrease the amount of teenage pregnancies in Ohio, Ohio needs to decrease the amount of absence-only programs, High Schools in Ohio need to provide a free contraceptive option for student, and most importantly, Ohio needs to provide a more comprehensive sexual education for its students and provide students with all of the facts about sexual education including contraceptive use as well as the consequences of teenage pregnancy.
Topic sentence 1(actual sentence you will use in your essay):Abstinence-only programs are federally funded programs that are occurring all around America.
Topic sentence 2 (actual sentence you will use in your essay): Lack of knowledge about contraception is defiantly a factor in why there are so many pregnancies in teens.
Topic sentence 3((actual sentence you will use in your essay): Sexual education is very important in Ohio’s high schools in teaching our students what they need to know, therefore students need to be taught all aspects of sex including safe sex practices as well as abstinence practices.
6. Ohio’s current sexual education program is already well constructed and does not need to be changed
7. Ohio needs to help our teens by simply making sexual education in high schools better constructed and to make them cover all aspects of sex including safe sex practices.
7:40 pm - 11-5-2009
My topic is Online predators especially directed towards teens and children.
The audience is parents of children and teens.
Solutions: 1. (most important) Mandatory class for teens in school. 2. Sting operations to catch online predators 3. Having parents be more involved by putting up parental blocks.
Thesis: Online predators are extreme threats to children and teenagers, to improve this problem it is necessary to conduct sting operations, have parents use parental blocks with their computers and most importantly have mandatory classes for teens to take in school.
Topic sentences
1. Mandatory classes for teenagers is extremely important to lower the amount of teens being involved in sexual predator attacks online and to improve their knowledge of the situation.
2. Sting operations are ment to secretly find online predators and will help lower the amount of online predators overall.
3. Parents putting up online boundaries for their children will help monitor their internet usage and keep them away from online predators.
Conterargument: It is too hard to control teenagers and tell them what to do with their internet activitys.
8:55 pm - 11-5-2009
1. Title
work in progress
2. The problem i chose is roommates and how the process of getting one is done. I believe during the summer while filling out the roommate survey that there so be more detailed questions so you have a better chance of getting someone more like you and in the end we have less roommate problems.
3. my audience will be the hall director and others of roommate problems and assigning them.
4. solution.
have more detailed roommate surveys in the summer.
5. thesis
Going into college can be scary as is getting a roommate who one dose not get along with can only make it more stressful and dreadful.
1. better roommate surveys
2. have opportunities in the summer for students to meet some other students who could potentially become their roommate.
3. Still need to think of one more
6. Conclusion
Coming into college is nerve-racking and scary. Being worried about having a bad roommate or someone you do not get along with is one thing freshmen do not want to have to worry about.
9:04 pm - 11-5-2009
Response to #6
Viable topic. You audience should be BGSU administration, because students cannot make it happen. The group that benefits are BGSU students.
Visit BGSU website or ask your RA for brochures. You can find related policies. It seems you need one more solution. I remember that a student who sent paper to the Writing Center proposes that BGSU issue fewer passes. Consider it though.
Start with the most comfortable solution and modify the others while drafting.
9:10 pm - 11-5-2009
Response to #7
Interesting topic, but not feasible if you consider implementing them. A lot of people will lose jobs, and not all Americans can afford the good and healthy food.
Consider other solutions. Or narrow donw your topic to “Dealing with First-Year 15”. You can propose required P.E. class, changing the food/menu in Student Union, or something else. I cannot tell you everything. Or think along the line.
9:18 pm - 11-5-2009
Response to #8
You have a audience problem. Do you think teens, college students and their parents offer those programs? It seems your audience should be a department or institution in charge of education. Who can give out contraception? Community or school or health department? You have more than one group of audience here. Please fix it and generate other solutions.
9:22 pm - 11-5-2009
Response to #9
Good ideas, but you have more than one group of audience here: 1) School 2) police? (I am not sure), and 3)parents. You are supposed to propose to just ONE group of people. So, you need to fix your solutions.
9:30 pm - 11-5-2009
Response to #10
Please read the assignment sheet again, so that you have a clear understanding of the requirements of the paper.
You have to pick a problem, a serious one, so that it deserves attention. This paper does not ask you to write about how to pick a roommate, but solve roommate problems.
Your audience could be administration and students living in the dorm. But you will come up with different set of solutions. You have to decide on ONE group of audience now. Then post and I will provide feedback.
10:10 pm - 11-5-2009
1. Overwhelming Pressure
2. The problems created by peer pressure
3. The audience consists of both high school and college students
4. A possible solution would be to educate one’s self on the effects of alcohol, drugs, etc.
5. Peer pressure is an everyday occurrence in the lives of many young people today and can be limited with education, good judgement and planning ahead.
1. Being educated on different circumstances can help an individual properly deal with peer pressure.
2. Having good judgement can help a person from doing unwise acts caused by peer pressure.
3. Another way to deal with peer pressure is to plan ahead.
6. Schools and parents are not always going to be there to tell a person the right things to do. It is ultimately up to that individual as to what to do.
7. Schools and parents must take the steps necessary to lead young people into the right direction. Many young people, however, will have to learn the hard way
12:47 am - 11-6-2009
Problem:
Forcing students to live on campus for two years unless they are able to be a commuter.
Audience:
The office of residence life
Solution:
Allowing students to move off campus if hey wish durning their sophmore year of college.
Thesis:
There should not be a requirement for the amount of time students have to live on campus because several different reasons.
Topics:
1) Many students do not like the dorm life causeing them to transfer either back home or to another school which allows them to live off campus.
2) On campus living is much more expensive then living off campus.
3) Having so many students living in one general aera leads in a incrase in the spreading of germs causing more students to become ill.
11:09 am - 11-6-2009
title:changing the food in the sun dial
audience:food services
solution: finding alternative foods for each day so that it is not all the same.
thesis: students should have a wider variety of food options in the dial for many reasons.
topic #1:many students do not like the same foods over and over again.
topic #2:the food in the dial is more expensive this year then in the past.
topic #3: i think that the same greasy,not very good for you, food is the reason why some students gain the “freshman 15”.
1:38 pm - 11-6-2009
Reply to #17
You need to find three solutions, and one of them should be the best.
Here are my thoughts:
1. Look at websites of other universities, and see how they fix the problem
2. Is it possible to restructure the dorms so that more students share one room, for example. It could be a possible solution if you want to lower the cost of campus living.
3. Allowing them to live off-campus since their sophmore year seems to be your best solution.
4. How about asking BGSU to lower the cost? It works as a possible solution if you think our on what the administration can cut down on the costs.
Your thesis does not look like a thesis for a solution paper. Just say, “To lower the cost for …., three solutions work, and the best solution is…”.
1:55 pm - 11-6-2009
Response to all posts
I hope you read my response to your posts carefully so that you don’t have to do a lot of revision after I return your drafts.
Some posts misunderstand the requirement of the paper. You are supposed to propose at least 3 solutions and one of them is the best solution. All solutions, either best or possible, should work and help to achieve the purpose. For example, lowering the costs of living on campus, administrators can lower the cost (if you can find holes in the documents), letting more students share a dorm, or living off-campus. Thanks to Ali’s post, I borrowed some of her ideas and added some, too.
Your thesis statements:
Read the model essay in SMG or sample essay in Blackboard. Just say “Three solutions can help lower the costs of textbooks: (then you list the three solutions), and make it clear which ONE is the best solution. Some thesis statements explore causes, show a stance, or whatever.
Your topic sentences:
Each topic sentence responds to one solution. Simply say, “One possible solution is…” and provide reasons. You can have a couple of reasons when you argue for your solution, as the model essay shows. Some students posted three topics. You are not expected to find three topics, just one, but find three solutions.
Consider different groups involved in the essay. Take “Win-Win Flexibility” for example. The writer has the employer, and the particualr group of people (juggler families with little children)in mind. Only when both groups involved in the essay benefit, does the BEST solution works.
I hope my clarifications help.
2:28 pm - 11-8-2009
1.The Freedom of College
2. Underage drinking by college students
3. Freshman and Sophmore college students that are under the age of the legal drinking age which is 21
4.Have a more strict tolerance for underage drinking especially while drinking in rooms, do random room checks
5.Underage drinking is occuring on college campuses because teens are exposed to more freedom than usual the solutions to this are random room checks, stricter sercurity at bars and clubs and student body discussions about underage drinking.
Topic Sentence(1): Room checks are normal in a college dormatory, but not enough that students are not able to have underage drinking go on in their rooms.
Topic Sentence(2): When students go to bars and clubs its so easy for a 18 year old to recieve as many alchoholic beverages as he or she choses even if they don’t have a wrist band on, this is because the security isn’t really that pressed about underage drinking.
Topic Sentence(3):Student organizations are a big deal on college campuses if there could be a organization that could help prevent underage drinking and actually have students participate this would be a good way to speak out.
3:08 pm - 11-8-2009
You have a problem with audience, so you have to consider addressing just ONE group of audience rather than several. Your Solution 1, room checks, addresses to the administration. Solution 2 addresses bar to runners. Solution 3 seem to have students as the audience. To be consistent, you have to stick to one audience and revise your solutions. I hope this helps.
Read the model essay”More Testing, More Learning” in SMG. The audience is “professors” from beginning to end. You CANNOT shradle two groups of audiences.
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10:23 pm - 3-25-2011
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We need to teach the kids how to maintain a healthy weight.