09/09/09:)
For my This I Believe essay, I have a lot of revising to do. I am happy with the beginning of my essay, so i don’t plan on changing that. It’s not too lengthy and states what i believe. For the end of my essay, i like it but and not happy with it. Honestly, i have no idea what i’m going to do to change it yet. As for the story within my story, it’s not so good. I like the story but it needs a lot of work. My plan for fixing this is to take what i have an pull it apart. Since there’s sooooo much i could say about Heidi, i need to gradually get into the camp portion of it, but not too gradually since it’s a short story. I probably need to explain what DECA is and take what i have on junior and senior year and make it more detailed. The hard part about it is that i’m covering two years of my life in a matter of sentences, so i’m not really sure exactly what details i should put within it. Also, i need to make it longer since it’s right under the word minimum. My final step is to have another person, probably the roomie,  look it over the day before the final copy is due and make sure it sounds okay.